do re mi

in the beginning (but not really the beginning–only a moment in the span of existence that is always), i learned of a plan my Heavenly Father for me and my spirit brothers and sisters, himself exalted and perfected and holy, our beloved Father wanted us to have a chance to follow His path. His firstborn, our elder Brother, Jesus, would organize a world where we could live and grow and learn to love and truly care it would be a difficult experience in a world in a world of imperfect men and irrevocable law, and we must choose if we would follow Him. “and so, … I said, ‘Yes.’ and i waited for my turn.

[Jesus} set about making a world for me and you, the Father's children. and one day i left a place i cannot remember now to come here, to begin the union of my life with the earth.

in the hazy brightness that is childhood, there was the first recognition of beauty--the smell of eucalyptus, the first encounters with sea and sun and sand, and fog--wet droplets on my face, a bee, flowers and cypress trees bent strangely by the wind.

and as i grew, so the world became more marvelous; and deep inside began the warm, sweet pain that is earth-love [Jesus] made light that falls soft and silvery at night and makes shadow patterns in the wind–light, golden-blue, and gentle in the days of sprin sun–and light that spreads its colors first faintly red to orange to golden, to dispel the blue-black that is night–sunrise. and i have eyes to see.

and He made wind to rustle softly through a thousand leaves, glistening silver-slippery water to sing and stumble on its way to the sea, and birds to fill the morning air with soft flute-tones. and i have ears to hear.

He made hands to touch on the bright warmth that is ‘How are you?’ or ‘I will help’ or ‘i begin to love you’; and eyes to speak, to see beyond the words, to understand, to discover.

He gave me a heart that sees and hears and feels the earth He made, and deep within me earth-love swells to overflowing. He gave me tears of joy to shed.

Youhave these things, too. they are gifts–blessings beyond ourability to receive

and someday when i have Him again and my Father has welcomed me back, i hope, with my mate, to be able to begin the direction of a world like this. and our children will turn in the cold sweetness of morning light to heavens of their earth with eyes that glisten with tears born of earth-love to say, ‘Thank you, Father.’

never in the world of reality have i imagined myself standing on stage wearing clothes that looked as if tailored by embalmers. wearing make up and have cramps on cheeks coz of never ending smiles. most especially saying "and world peace" just before ending an answer of a judge’s question. no, no, no!tube tops, shorts and swimsuits isn’t my world.i’d rather pressure myself writing articles or poems than to be thinking what color or what type of clothes to be worn. i don’t need to flaunt what’s God-given to prove something. it’s not a need and i don’t like it more than i don’t need it. jeez! why can’t they understand this??! i laugh at the idea but it later became a mind-sore. a refusal isn’t always bad. if the offerer wears the shoes of people they’re offering something at they’ll understand. that is respecting one’s principles and views in life. true intelligence is applied in real life conditions and beauty needs not to be flaunted coz it’s seen anyways. people say to just give it a try, but it would make no sense coz  i don’t have an end in mine of something that’s not my priority. i could do it badly but why? when i can do my very best. useless still! for by then i won’t be happy in the end. so no, no, no! i’m not gonna do it!

i was young and so was he. we play together and we do all sorts of silly stuff like stealing cacaos from old dude nong prank’s yard. we look into this rumored haunted rice storage to satisfy our thirst of curiuosity ending up scaring ourselves but later on laughing because all we saw were rats and some queer never before seen insects. i remember eating meals at their residence and answering his parents’ interviews. funny though because i never invited him to eat at our house.

i was flipping the pages of their family’s photo album and he introduced me to all his cousins. he even told me stories about them. then out of nowhere-

bald: do you know who’s my bestfriend?

childishly i pointed out all of his counsins one by one. but he told me she is not seen in the picture.

forgotten: do i know this person?

bald: you.

forgotten: do you know mine?

bald: no?

forgotten: you

it was clear. we were bestfriends. he stood up for me in those jealous rascals who quarreled me as well as those that cheat playing bato lata. no one would try to talk back to him because every girl in the neighborhood was having a crush on him. also, no one would try to bully him because his dad was gigantic!

one day an accident happened and he was blamed for the whole thing. one of our playmates fell from the swing and was badly wounded. i wasn’t there when it happened because mom took me to the city with her. i asked him what happened and if it was really his fault. he said it wasn’t and that she fell all by herself. i believed him and i asked sorry for i wasn’t there when he took all those scolds. the following day we walked by at the wounded girl’s residence. the mom started to speak about the accident annoyingly. she kept pushing  that it was his fault. i mean, c’mon how shallow could she get for a grown up? it wasn’t his fault! and besides it’s done already. my bald friend was tearing up already and again he stated reasons. i know his conscience was spotless. i stood there quiet for a few seconds then i suddenly told her to shut up and she right away did. they went away leaving filthy words which left him sobbing and still crying. he explained everything to me again but that wasn’t necessary coz i know he speaks truth and i didn’t like seing him crying. i told him to stop it already but it only made him want to cry more. so i just stayed with him until he felt like stopping.

he frequently travels to Cebu for family affairs and i missed him everytime. i never thought he’d permanently be away from me until one day he said he’d soon be.

to be continued..

’twas as if i was paralized. don’t wanna write about the usual love-is-so-and-so blah blah stuff. we’re suppose to comment about cupid and psyche’s love. i loved the story but.. naaah. here it goes.

i don’t even have a title for it.

+stinks+ O_o

seeds of happiness are sown by one’s ability to master his driving passion. chastity should be the dominant virtue among young people- the ideal which the world has not accepted and which many in the world will not believe exists or is cherished in the hearts of youth.

it is necessary to study the disposition, the inheritance, the training of the one with whom you are contemplating making life’s journey. love is not always a true guide, especially if that love be not reciprocated or is bestowed upon a surly creature or a brute, yet certainly there is no happiness without love. in some certain circumstances, no matter how fascinated you may be, no matter how confident you may feel that you love him, let your judgement rule and master of your feelings. it may grieve you not to follow the inclination of your heart, but you had better be pained a little in your youth than suffer pangs of torture later.

our life’s happiness here and hereafter is largely dependent on our choices today. and yet, if i mistake not the signs of the times, the sacredness of respect of the opposite gender is dangerously threatened. it is vital to counteract the insidious influences of printed literature that speaks of the "bankruptcy of love," that advocates "extra-marital relations" on a par with "extra-marital friendships".

true sympathy is next to love, but it is not love. love is the most divine attribute of the human soul, and if one accepts the immortality of the soul, that is if one believes that personality persists after death, then. he must believe that love also lives. true, we are admonished to love everybody, but we all know that we love those whom we know best.

this is our heritage. and as we contemplate an eternal partnership, we will realize it and find true joy and happiness of such a cherished ideal.

there.

where i got this?

~the vehement’s love story~

i was imperfect until i met you, and so i thought..

my beliefs i downtrod; i as the wave travelled the ocean just to touch it’s shore

i chose to believe aggravating barks instead of birds’ solace chirps

refused to avert from this sure defeat battle

even searched for gems on a dingy swamp of gator snaps

but you, the song of my lonely night

thou have been reason enough to harvest all the doubts

thou hast satisfied this man’s sweet foreshadows

you, you alone are my love bilet-deuxs

countless mutes have come and go and i am deaf

cryptic bewilderments this world have invested

but this patent mystery is the defender

comrades suddenly became strangers

and these strangers mustify me to begin the cease

yet i never felt compelled to despise their unbearable lies

because what i believed was the source of this life

i understood Shakespear’s "parting is such sweet sorrow."

a part of me was snatched by a cold hand

when i had to pass the what i believed unpassable labyrinth

but i guess i’m mighty enough hoping to keep your promise

confused on why i feel cold; restless

sheen is opaque. not what it used to be, not what i use to see.

waaaaaaaaaateber.

it’s hilarious how things happen unexpectedly. you just don’t know when to do what. you take chances but you end up ridiculing your own self by the choice you chose over the other. (Haay!) every thing’s unsure and one will have a hard time thinking on weather to do what he wants to do or do what should be done. to have these two stay on the same deck rarely happens. ofcourse we know what should be done must be done. but the human tendency is to rationalize their wants even if they know it’s wrong. you say li’l sin won’t hurt. you measure it before you act but you know what? unconsciously you allow "you" to hurt "you"! ow yeah. sacrifices pay off! there are right sacrifices but there are wrong sacrifices too just like everything else. and when you start feeling pain, you start saying names to yourself. don’t you dare deny that you know that’s a fact!

–a teenagers life is a mini battle they say. and i reply, "what on earth would a major battle look like then? (with this look- O_o hehe. :)) but later on everything went clearer. you handle things that are on the level of your own understanding. when He sees that you’re mature enough to handle a new assignment He’d give it to you without hesitation. ofcourse, omniscient gud. hehe. (everything’s supported by a plan. a well planned plan! hehe) so hey! all you fellow pessimists out there. that’s ok. embrace every enigma! you’re strong gurl/dude. YOU CAN DO IT!

but don’t forget. YOUR CHOICES MATTER! so be wise open your eyes. ehehe!

mmwah! have a nice day!

just this afternoon my and my friends had a li’l chitchat. we we’re so excited discussing about "stuff", exchanging ideas and opinions. they informed me about a friend’s matter. i was soo troubled about what i’ve just learned. i knew about this problem eversince. i was worrying to death but not as much as i am worrying now. they told me she would just sudddenly burst to tears and she’d never tell the reason behind the pain she’s feeling. i can’t help but feel guilty.. for i think i’m not there as her friend. i want to know what’s causing her these pains.. and dAnG it! i don’t even know what her problems are. =( i am super sad right now. i imagine her crying in bed. a couple of months ago, she’d open up things to us but she’s having difficulty in expressing her feelings. i hate it! i wish i could just read what’s running inside her mind. for sure that would make things a lot easier.

i remember the days when we giggle discussing ’bout our band. what songs to play, plans about a career (haha! :() music videos, compositions.. she was soo happy then. but maybe she was just hiding her pains.. coz there were times i’d catch her so silent, looking down (literally). and when i’d ask her "what’s the matter?", she would just give me a smile and then laugh. ’twas a deception and i was deceived?

she doesn’t hang along with us anymore and she’d go home with her other pals.. (but why? when there’s us? :() what’s worse is she doesn’t want to be apart of our band anymore for again. an UNKNOWN reason.

we don’t know if those were just alibis or what.. honestly.. we don’t really know! that’s the most painful part!! but if it’s what really she wants then go!.. but we will still be here for her.

basta. gubot. i’ll just post updates ’bout this blog.

**update**
nicomment xa.. yah, xa. si dai2x ni na friend.**

uhmm.. i think i’m beginning to understand. i’m not that sure though. i know issues coz i have them too.
basta dai, you know na ug unsa. heheh. Confidentialities. kekekek. =] i can’t be so open bout it. especially diri pa jud na blog kaayu sa friendster. hahah! basat ui, don’t even know why i still continue doing ‘the thing” (dai! i know you get me!!..) but someday if mapuno na ang baldi, tawa. brwahahah!!
hahayy.. basta ui!m =D

Fairies of Zodiac Signs -Capricorn
December 23 - January 20
The Goat

Traditional Capricorn traits
Practical and prudent                      
Ambitious and disciplined             
Patient and careful
Humorous and reserved

MinE ActiOns  aS liLiEs aRe viNeS aNd dAndeLiOnS shY ofF whEn tOuCheD. wOrdS aRe meLodiOus aNd sOundS arE exCitEmenT. buT eYeS arE fuLl pAiLs, siLentLy bEgGinG fOr EnoUgh. cReatEs A sMilE tO haVe thEe tHinK oThErwiSe. tUrns Away neediNg nO cOmprOmiSe. dEaf iS miNe hEart? ThE WiNd iS iNvIsibLe bUt neVer cAn iT hidE. wOundS aRe cOnceAled but freSh iS thE pAsT sCenT oF chAnceS, mUsiC oF utTeriNg gLAnceS, tRutH beNeaTh siLence, aNd gloOm unDernEath siLeNcE. swEet iN biTterneSs anD biTter oN sweEtnesS. acCeptiOns oN parAlLel sTinGs anD fIndIng hApPineSs oN adJacEntS.gOodbyE toMmorOw, grEetiNgs to soRroW.

ana T. acia

–mua